What the Hell?
by xXRainbowSkittlesXx
Summary: This fanfiction has no words to describe it. It was done within three hours in the early morning of a Monday. All the warnings I can give is that there is a horrible case of OOC on both characters, mature scenes, and language. I practically made up the story as I went along. :P Please enjoy to the best of your ability.


**A/N: This... This came to me while reading another Altair/Malik fanfic. I started thinking, "Why? Why the fuck would I write this?" But still, I just wanted to write this, because I know if I don't, I might regret it. XD I hope you guys at least thought it was somewhat good. XD Enjoy~ If possible~ **

**Warning: Possible OOC with both Malik and Altair. But I think with this fic, that was the point. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Assassin's Creed. Just my wild and crazy imagination. :P**

Altair and Malik walked in the room, finding two seats in front of a long, polished wooden desk with small knick-knacks and framed pictures of family members adorning the top. They were greeted with a middle-aged man who was cursed with a balding hairline.

Malik sat in the left chair and started fidgeting with his bowtie. When he was in trouble or felt nervous, he would fidget with his bowtie. Of course, he hated doing this because it would move and look lopsided, making him frustrated. He didn't like when anything was out of place.

Altair sat in the right chair and chewed on his already flavorless piece of gum. He smacked it about in his mouth, creating the most obnoxious sounds known to man. He knew they were going to be there awhile so he got comfortable by swinging his legs over the arm of the chair and with his back to Malik, he would lean his head so far back so he could stare at him.

Malik would glance to him and frown. He didn't like when Altair gave him that creepy smile with those dark eyes. He gulped.

Altair enjoyed fucking with Malik. It was his favorite pastime. He could see Malik stare at him from the corner of his eye and Altair took the chance and decided to do the funkiest thing with his eye; he kept his right eye in place while moving his left to the side. He laughed when Malik shuddered and looked away. He loved doing that to him. He practically loved Malik. Problem was? Malik didn't love him back. And so, they constantly are put into the principal's office because Altair didn't know how to leave Malik alone.

Malik was shaking now. He was terrified of Altair. He didn't know what the fuck this idiot wanted with him! He was following him everywhere. The worse time was after he took a shower, he went to close the window in the bathroom and he saw a figure standing behind the tree in his backyard. When he squinted to see who it was, he could see half of Altair's body. He swore that he saw his toothy grin, as well. He was so scared, he slammed the window shut and closed the curtain. He couldn't sleep a wink all night, thinking that Altair was standing outside his door. He even thought he heard some scratching on the wood of the door. He shivered thinking about that night.

Altair blew a bubble with his gum. When it popped, he noticed Malik jumped. He smirked. God, he loved this bastard. He just wanted to hug him to death. Literally. He wanted to hug him till his eyes popped out and blood poured from his eye sockets. But if Malik wouldn't let him near him, how was he going to do that? He frowned. What could he do to let the geeky fuck into his life? He thought it over.

Malik waited till the principal said something. He prayed that the principal would say something. Anything to get Altair's attention off of him. He could feel him starting to sweat. He licked his braces as he started to clean his glasses. He tried his best to keep from looking at Altair. He noticed before that Altair's eyes had a murderous glint in them. He grew paranoid.

Finally, the principal talked. "Here you two are. Again, in my office. What is it with you two?"

Altair stared at the bald man. "He started it." Altair said, blaming Malik.

Malik gaped at the two. "W-w-w-w-w-what?! I did nothing! Really!" He looked away. "... Or at least, I'm sure I didn't..." He slowly turned his gaze at Altair and he saw that he was staring at him. He turned away fast.

The principal sighed. "I highly doubt Malik started it."

"Well, I'm sorry. I can't help being attracted to him. He just practically asked to get jumped." Altair said, sticking his tongue out.

"I never asked for that!" Malik shouted, flustered. What had he meant by 'attracted'? Maybe he was attracted to his skin? Did he want to skin him?! Malik widened his eyes.

"My god, you guys are impossible. What am I goin-" He was interrupted when his secretary came rushing in.

"Mr. Iahto, there's a huge fight in the hallway on the third floor." He stood and told Malik and Altair to stay put. He muttered a few obscenities and a "all kids are the same..." as he left the room.

Malik stared at the door in disbelief. _He... He left me in the room with this... This... Creature..._ He turned around quickly so he didn't have to catch a glimpse of Altair. He stared straight ahead and hoped Altair would just stay where he was.

He was horribly. Horribly. HORRIBLY wrong.

Altair stood up and walked slowly to Malik with his hands in his pockets. He stopped in front of him, facing the wall.

Malik looked to the side and transfixed his eyes on a hanging picture of Mr. Iahto with the football team. Just then, Altair turned to face him. Malik gulped. His hood hung over his eyes. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see what he would do.

Altair held his chin high. He pulled his hood off, so he could see his prey more clearly. He grinned when he noticed Malik had his eyes closed. He reached his hand out and slowly touched Malik's jaw.

Malik jumped at the touch. Why was he touching him? Why?! Malik's heart was rapidly picking up speed. He figured he'll die from a heart attack, but he never knew it was going to be this young.

Altair smiled. He loved Malik's skin. It was so smooth. Its color has changed during the summer into a nice mocha. He just wanted to lick it. So badly. He traced the outline of the jaw until he got to Malik's chin. Once there he grasped it tightly, jolting his prey. He noticed then that he was breathing heavily and was shaking. Altair got excited.

Malik had chants playing constantly in his mind. He wanted to plead to Altair to let him go, but he couldn't find his voice. When Altair grabbed him suddenly, his heart nearly stopped. He thought he was going to die.

Altair gently brought Malik's face closer to him. He leaned in and sniffed at his hair. He sighed peacefully when he smelled the sweet aroma of strawberry shampoo.

Malik shivered. _HE'S SNIFFING ME?!_

Altair then quickly licked Malik's cheek and he could taste the salty sweat that formed from the pores. He liked it. A lot. He reached his hands behind Malik's head and pulled him in.

Malik's thought process was destroyed when Altair kissed him. What the fuck? He didn't do anything other than open his eyes. What is this sorcery?

Altair deepened the kiss. He moaned slightly from the touch of Malik's lips on his. He noticed that Malik was weakening his defenses a little, so he pried open his mouth and dived his tongue in, brushing over the braces.

Malik didn't know what to do. Should he play along so he didn't get killed? Or should he just sit there and hope he'll get bored and leave him alone?

Altair grew frustrated from the lack of action from Malik. He gripped his hair tightly, making Malik hiss. Hs erection hardened from the sound. Altair smirked from the reaction. He tightened his grip and pressed harder in the kiss.

Malik knew then that he had to play along. He started to kiss back, moving his tongue around his predator's. The gum from before travelled from Altair's mouth into his and moved into the back of his throat. He pulled away and started to choke on it.

Altair stared at him. He was going to be okay. He knew that. If not, he will save him. He decided to pass the small amount of time by doing his own thing.

Malik spat the gum out of his mouth and coughed some before looking up. He regretted doing that. He was met with a hard penis being shoved into his mouth. His eyelids shot up and tears came to his eyes. He could feel himself gagging on the large member.

Altair's mind clouded from the pleasure. He hissed when he hit the back of Malik's throat. And feeling Malik choke on the tip made him giggle. He loved it. He loved all of it.

Malik pulled away, but he couldn't get far, since Altair's hand kept him in place. He felt trapped, but he knew it was best to please him instead of angering him. He knew what came next, so he tried his best in the process.

Altair was surprised when Malik took his cock in his hand and started to suck him off. He smirked and decided to be gentle on him. Maybe Malik actually wanted it as well? It would have made his job easier. He tangled his fingers in his hair and just relished in the feel of Malik's warm mouth on his dick.

Malik was new to this and wasn't entirely sure if he was doing it correctly, but he must be doing alright, because he could hear the moans and gasps from Altair. He didn't want to admit it, but the sounds were getting to him. He could feel his own member growing bigger despite the situation at hand. Not only that, but his actions were getting him turned on as well. When the tip hit the back of throat again - without such awful force - he groaned and the vibrations from the noise made Altair shiver. Malik smirked.

Altair was now panting. He wanted to just deepthroat the fucker so badly, but he knew to be patient, he was waiting for the better parts. He could feel himself getting close, but he tried to hold back as much as he can.

Malik started to speed up. In and out, up and down. He wanted all of it. When had he become like this? He didn't know, but right now, he didn't care. He sucked on the tip with such force, Altair threw his head back and moaned loudly.

Altair knew it. He knew he was so fucking close. So, he had to stop it. He wanted Malik. NOW. He pulled Malik from his dick and pushed him against the chair.

Malik stared at him and wondered why he had to stop. He frowned, but was enticed at the look of complete and utter lust on Altair's face.

Altair reached down and started to undo Malik's pants. He licked his lips when he saw his erection. He then took off his own pants and boxers and climbed on top of Malik.

Malik widened his eyes and blushed. This was his first time. "Altair, this is my first ti-"

Altair hushed him by placing his finger on his lips. "Don't worry about it, baby. I got this." And then he kissed roughly.

Malik responded to the kiss. He was still worried, but if he thought it got it, then he wasn't going to complain. High chances are, he knew more about this than he did, so he just didn't say anything.

Altair positioned himself over Malik's cock and lowered himself slowly. He didn't even bother to prepare himself. The tip entered him and they both hissed. "Fuck..." Altair muttered, trying to get used to the intrusion.

Malik breath hitched. He wasn't even fully in and it felt amazing. He thought he wouldn't want this, but he was happy he didn't back out. Malik sighed when he was all the way in. He was thinking about moving, but he didn't want to hurt him, so he waited for Altair.

Altair breathed in and out slowly. He waited a few seconds more and then sucked it up. "I'm g-going to move..." He whispered in his ear.

Malik nodded. He felt awkward, however. Where the hell was he going to put his hands? As if Altair could read his mind, he grabbed his hands from the arms of the chair and place them on the small of his back.

Altair started to moved up and down, slowly. The pain still invaded in lower back, but with each thrust, it was replaced with pleasure. The noises that he made went from hisses to moans in a few seconds. His pace quickened and Malik wrapped his arms around him more tightly. Altair groaned.

Malik panted. This feeling... He couldn't believe the intensity of such a thing. He never knew sex could feel this amazing. He moaned when Altair started to move his hips forward and backward in a grinding motion.

Altair nearly screamed when he felt the tip of his cock hit him directly in his prostate. He grabbed the back of the chair, near Malik's shoulders. He grinded harder and tried to have that spot be hit again. Luckily, he hit the jackpot every time.

Malik started to sweat and he brought his hands up to Altair's neck and brought his face close to his. Altair's hot breath was on his lips and he could vaguely make out what he was saying.

Altair whispered against Malik's lips, "Oh, god, baby..."

Malik smashed his lips against his and started to move his hips in a rhythmic movement with Altair's.

Altair pulled from the kiss and leaned into his neck, biting hard on the skin.

Malik moaned, "Ah!"

Altair sucked on the skin, breaking it and letting it bleed. He let go and moaned against him, "Ah, Malik! Yes, harder! Please, baby, please!"

Malik went harder, hitting his spot. They were both close and he knew this. He quickened his pace and Altair threw his head back.

Altair panted, "Malik, I'm going to c-come!"

Malik whispered, "Me, too..."

Altair came soon after, dirtying their chests.

Malik came a thrust later, filling Altair with his load.

They both relaxed in the chair, coming down from their high. Once they calmed down to a decent breathing pace, Altair looked at Malik.

"You know..."

"Hm?"

"I love you... I've loved you this whole time." He said, looking into his eyes.

Malik stared at the desk. "... Really? Maybe you should've just said that instead of stalking me..."

Altair looked away. "But it was more fun that way."

Malik narrowed his eyes at him. "I-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

They both looked at the door to the principal's office and they saw an enraged bald man.

Malik jumped up and screamed.

"Baby, you okay?"

He turned and saw Altair wiping the sleep from his eyes.

Malik just slowly nodded. He sneakily reached into his boxers and lo and behold, he had came all over the inside of his underwear. No wonder he was uncomfortable. He got out of bed to get on a new pair.

He sighed. What kind of dream was that? And why the fuck was Altair a fucked up teenager?

Stupid fucking wet dreams.

He climbed back in bed and laid down next to Altair. He faced the wall and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, he felt a hand reach into his clean boxers and wrap around his semi-hard erection.

"G'mornin'," whispered Altair.

Malik chuckled.

"Good morning to you, too." Malik said, kissing Altair. "Oh, and I love you, too."

Altair raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it.

Malik just smiled.

**A/N: That, my dear readers, is what I produced in about three hours. I hope it wasn't too mind blowing. Or too much mind fucking. Or whatever. Haha. XD I'm extremely tired. So fuckin' tired. Well, I hope you enjoyed my OOC-ness of Altair and Malik. XD It comes so easily to me. :P Anyways, I hope you enjoyed in the slightest~ Stay lovely~**


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